Hoping everyone stateside had a Happy Thanksgiving!

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40 Things That Only Happen in Movies

A friend sent this list to me. I think it’s pretty funny!

1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.

4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside.

6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.

9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.

10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).

12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard…

15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).

16. Cars never need fuel (unless they’re involved in a pursuit).

17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.

18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away, you will always find another one.

20. All single women have a cat.

21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.

22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.

24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don’t mind at all what the girl does for a living.

27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

28. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello? Hello?” repeatedly.

29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone’s Law).

30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.

33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren’t liked and would never get invited to parties).

40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).

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Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween!

The term Halloween, and its older spelling Hallowe’en, is shortened from All-hallow-eve, as it is the evening before “All Hallows’ Day” (also known as “All Saints’ Day”). The holiday was a day of religious festivities in various northern European Pagan traditions, until Popes Gregory III and Gregory IV moved the old Christian feast of All Saints Day to November 1. In Ireland, the name was All Hallows’ Eve (often shortened to Hallow Eve), and though seldom used today, it is still a well-accepted label. The festival is also known as Samhain or Oíche Shamhna to the Irish, Calan Gaeaf to the Welsh, Allantide to the Cornish & Hop-tu-Naa to the Manx. Halloween is also called Pooky Night in some parts of Ireland, presumably named after the púca, a mischievous spirit.

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Sorry I haven’t kept up here of late, I’ve just been off enjoying the summer. My wife and I just got back from a visit with my parents in Virginia, and very soon I plan to head out on a trip across the desert southwest. I’ve also been laboring away on a 30-second commercial for a camera equipment company using a stop-motion animation technique.

Meanwhile, Mike is busy wrapping up his Flavio cartoon, and beginning production on several animated commercials.

More later, as life continues onward!

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ComicCon Fans

The Story Boredom blog has some great sketches of San Diego Comic Con fan 'types'. Check it out!

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It’s Comic Con Time Again

The halls and offices of Fox Television Animation were pretty empty today, as many of the talented peeps around here have migrated south for the annual San Diego Comic Con.

FTA has a pretty big presence at the show this year. A panel with the creators of Family Guy and American Dad will be on hand to show some sneak peaks at the upcoming seasons of both shows, and will answer questions from fans. If you're heading down to the big con this weekend, be sure to checkidy-check it out and say hello to the Family Guy folks.

The crew from "Hot Mexican Love" comics will be on hand at the convention too, so keep an eye peeled. (What's with that phrase anyway? Wouldn't a peeled eye actually hinder your ability to notice a specific detail, not enhance it?)

This year it's not just about the traditional comic book universe. Hollywood has taken notice of the comic world in a big way, and will have its own massive presence. Samuel L. Jackson, Hillary Swank and others will be on hand. "San Diego Comic Con- it's not just for geeks anymore". There goes the neighborhood. Next thing you know, members of the fair sex will actually be on hand in numbers higher than can be counted on one's hand.

I won't be heading down, even though I always love a good excuse to go to beautiful San Diego. I actually haven't been to the comic con since 1993 when Mike and I went with Gracie Films to promote the Bongo Comics Simpsons comic books. At the time we were involved with writing and drawing the Itchy and Scratchy comic book series.

To anyone who is heading down to the comic con: say, can you get me Samuel L. Jackson's autograph on my copy of Unbreakable? Thanks in advance.

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Happy 4th of July!


Wishing everyone a very happy and safe 4th of July!

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Kung Pow Chicken

Just something we've been messing with. Here's the splash page of a comic book Mike and I have been working on, starring a new hero for these troublesome times, Kung Pow Chicken. People have asked me, "..are you guys always hungry when you come up with this stuff? I mean, what's with books and comics named after cuts of meat and Chinese dishes?"

Hmm… well, after I've had a bite to eat, I'll get back to you on that one…

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Rock On!

Checkidy-check it out! Hot Mexican Love publisher Ira Sherak spent the past Memorial Day holiday weekend in Nashville, TN visiting with his family and friends.

He informs us the HML comic is now available in Tennessee. While there, he sighted rock legend David Lee Roth (of 70's-80's Van Halen fame/solo career since) and took the opportunity to share the love.

Holy rock stars posing for comic book publicity photos, Batman!

These burning questions remain: Did Dave actually read the book? On what page did he have it open to? Was he in Nashville to reinvent himself as a country n' western crossover crooning-cowboy, or was he in town to do a duet with The Dixie Chicks? Stay tuned!

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To everyone stateside, hope you had a great Memorial Day holiday! Hope everyone got a chance to relax, unwind, take a trip somewhere or just stay home, and most of all, to reflect on those who died in service to the country.

So now it’s back to work! But look at the bright side… for those mon-friday types, it’s only a four day week!

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